Sufferings

 Philippians 1:6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

I came across the verse, 1:6, one morning and it stuck with me for a couple days. It was about three days later I got a call that was devastating to me. My summer plans had just fallen apart and I had no earthly idea what I was going to do. For the past three months, I thought I was preparing myself to go into this internship and to minister to high school kids, showing them Jesus’ love. I had gotten so excited for what God was going to do in me for the summer. And then all of the sudden, I got the call saying I did not get the internship.

I could have given up on all the preparing Christ was doing in me the past months but I chose not to. This verse reminded me, ‘Kathryn, God started preparing you three months ago, He is not just going to give up and walk out on His preparations for you.’  Although I did not get the internship that I thought and believed would help me in my walk with Christ, does not mean there is no hope for me.

When Christ died on the cross, His work for us began. When we first believed, His work in us began. Now we have the Holy Spirit living in us. It is through the Holy Spirit we will grow in grace until He has completed his work in our lives.  God is so much bigger than the things on this earth. This includes His love for us. It can be so easy for the Devil to knock us down making us fill discouraged through earthly things. When we feel discouraged, we must remember, God’s love for us is bigger and He will not give up on us. Yeah, it might stink when we don’t get something we believe we should, but we must remind ourselves how much greater God’s plans are for us. When life doesn’t go how we thought, look to God and trust in His ways. Look at it as an opportunity to grow in your faith while you wait on His plans to unfold. Because He, who began a good work in us, will carry it out and we get to put our faith and hope in His works.

The day after I read verse 6, I read verse 29, For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to surfer for him.

In my study bible underneath verse 29 it states: Paul considered it a privilege to suffer for Christ. When times of suffering occur, if we faithfully represent Christ, our example and our message affect others and us for good. Suffering has these benefits-

1)   It takes our eyes off of earthly comforts.

2)   It weeds out superficial believers

3)   It strengthens the faith of those who endure

4)   It serves as an example to others who may follow us

When we suffer for our faith, it does not mean that we have done something wrong. In fact, it verifies that we have been faithful. Use suffering to build your character. Don’t resent it or let it tear you down.

I share this with y’all because after I got that phone call, my mind instantly went back to what I had read the days before. And it was through His word that gave me the strength and courage to put my faith in Him. When looking at the world’s view, it all could so easily make me feel hopeless and want to give up on Him. Having His word in me provided me with the hope in His reasons. Instead of giving up and walking away, I looked at it as an opportunity for my faith in Him to be tested and to grow. Because He who began a good work in me, will not give up. My prayers now are for the summer ahead of me, which I have no idea what is in store. But I know He does, and my faith is in Him.

Wherever you are today, don’t give up on His works within you. If things aren’t going your way and they make you feel discouraged, remind yourself God is so much bigger than the things on this earth. Let your faith in Him grow; let Him teach you how to grow in His grace.

But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:15-16

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are you being yourself?

     As I entered college two questions kept coming up in my thoughts, are you being yourself and are you truly living for Christ as you say you want to? The first semester I would put them aside and make excuses for them. When I would make excuses the main one that kept occurring consisted of, 'I am still young, I don't know everything, and I have a lot more to learn.' I am ashamed for making those excuses because in reality I kept searching for knowing it all. And what is so beautiful of God's work, He doesn't call us to know it all. He calls us to act upon what we already know. In Philippians 3:16 it says, Only let us live up to we have already attained. He calls us to live out what we have learned and by doing so we will learn even more.

     Over Christmas break, I had time to reflect on those questions. I could not make anymore excuses and I am so thankful Christ gave me a month of not much going on in my life so I could sit and reflect on them. In verse 17, Paul tells us, Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep our eyes on those who live as we do. Over that month, my sister and I had a lot of time we spent in our rooms together. Through being around her, I saw the joy and trust she had in the Lord. And as I thought back to her college years, that joy and trust in the Lord remained in her. She was able to be herself and say no to earthly things. Her eyes were fixed upon Christ. God encouraged me through her college years that I too can come back to Auburn and be myself and to live all for Him and not for earthly things. It was being surrounded by earthly things that kept making me feel it was impossible to get out of.

     I am going to be honest with y'all, there had to be a change. There had to be a change in so many areas of my life where I had been living for earthly things before. Those changes were not necessarily easy, they were rather hard. At times it felt like I was traveling upstream by myself. However, I had God and His word which I kept falling back onto. He kept getting me through each situation and He continues to do so. When my heart desired to be myself, it hurt because not many of the friends I had made had the same desires I had. It was during that time, I realized many of the people in my life had their eyes more concerned for earthly things. Being around them everyday made that battle upstream seem impossible. It began to wear me out by always telling them no. I began to question, is there anyone who desires are like mine? I kept praying and asking for those people to be brought into my life. 

     This past weekend, I had the opportunity to camp with a group of people with the same desires I had. God kept encouraging me to go. But I was hesitant because I only knew one person out of the 12 people. And those 12 people had all known each other. However, I ended up going because God assured me He was going to comfort me and get me through it. So, as I was there and we were around the campfire, I was able to hear them talk and they all shined the desire to live for the Lord and they do.

     Throughout the weekend it all came together why that battle upstream had seemed so impossible. I have not been surrounding myself around a group of people who love the Lord and live for Him. In high school, I had a small group who met once a week. This year I have realized how important they were. They remained the same as others came in and out of my life. They held me accountable in my walk with Christ and helped me see things through His eyes.  

     I think it is so important to surround ourselves with a group of friends who love the Lord. They will be that steady rock in our lives as things change in life. They are able to help us look at situations that are hard through Christ's eyes. It does not mean we can't still be friends with others. We still get to! We get to shine light to them through our actions and love for them! I think it is made easier to be that light to others when we do have a solid group of friends who we can chat with about the Lord. If you are feeling weighted down as if your the only one traveling upstream, I encourage you to ask yourself: "Have I surrounded myself with a group who loves  the Lord?" 

     It was so hard for a while because I felt like there weren't many people here who loved and lived for the Lord. That was because I was looking in all the wrong places. I was surrounded my people who did not, which made it seem there weren't those who did. When we are able to step out of our plans, God can bring those people into our lives through His plans. 

     For me, I had to learn how to be myself, how to say no to earthly things, and how to live fully for God in every situation before I realized what was missing in life- a small group of friends who love the Lord. Y'all the joy that has come from being myself is indescribable. Yes there are times that can be very hard because others might not get my reasonings for saying no, but at the end of the day I can rejoice because I am being who God created me to be. God created you to be yourself and not the world. He wants you to live for Him through being yourself, not somebody else.

     If your having a hard time with being yourself because the pressure of earthly things, I encourage you to pray and ask for a small group to help you and hold you accountable. Pray for the strength and courage through Christ to say no to earthly things. Ask God to give you the desires of what you yourself enjoy doing and don't be afraid or timid to do them.

For, as I have often told you before and now tell you again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ. 

Philippians 4:18-20

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an inexpressible joy

inexpressible: to great to be expressed or uttered; indescribable

     So.. let me start with how this word came up in my vocabulary. I am not one to use a wide variety of word choices so the fact that this has stuck with me makes me so excited! And not only has it stuck with me as a word, but as a feeling of joy too. I was reading in the New Testament a few weeks back and in 1 Peter it describes a joy for God as inexpressible. I sat there for a while, thinking about that kind of joy and curious on what that feeling must be like. I continued on with my day and my week. The word inexpressible joy stuck with me though. I would say it a few times because I loved that word... inexpressible.

     Well... three days ago that joy fully came alive within me! It is still alive and burning inside me and my prayer is that it will never go away. I have not really done much the past three days, I have just been continuing on with my daily routines. But there has been something different about my daily routines... I cannot stop smiling. I am smiling at the joy for God that is in my heart. I do not know what He is doing, but He is doing something. Although my life seems pretty still, I cannot stop smiling, because I know God is at work. And that brings me joy!

     Back in January, I made the decision for God to take control of my life, fully. Not just when I wanted Him to, but as an everyday choice no matter what kind of day I would have. There was no turning back to my old ways, my plans... it was all His. And to let Him take full control, there had to be some adjusting in my life. I am going to be completely honest with you.. there were definitely some very difficult days but those days I relied on Him the most, and He got me through them. I have struggled throughout the time though with wanting to understand what He was doing, I just wanted to have a glimpse so I could get through each day. But He kept telling me no, you need faith in Me and in Me alone. He taught me I cannot just say it, I had to fully live in faith each and every day. He constantly reminded me 

I will make everything beautiful in its time. 

Ecclesiastes 3:11

As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mothers womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the maker of all things. 

Ecclesiastes 11:5

     By relying on Him and His word alone, my faith has grown stronger everyday. I shout that! Because I am so blessed and so thankful! It has taken time for me to fully live by faith and He has been patient with me every single day. And by living in full faith of His timing and in His works, He has given me a joy that cannot be fully expressed. It is a joy that is inexpressible. It is a joy that has placed a huge smile on my face everyday, because He has plans for me that are far beyond my imaginations and my dreams. 

     I share this with you all because it is truly the greatest feeling. I no longer am fighting to understand His works. When we try to figure out His works, we are wasting our time and our energy. His works are His gift to us that we cannot understand. But we get to take it as a gift and be thankful and live in faith. It is a beautiful thing. When we stop trying to understand, we get to live in faith. And living in faith brings about an inexpressible joy. 

     Although I cant explain this joy to you that God has given me, my prayer is that you will let God bring you to your inexpressible joy for Him. Ask Him for it, let Him come in, let Him fully take over. Embrace the hardships it takes to fully live in Him because He is teaching you and growing you in so many ways. He will not fail you. Rely on Him and His word alone and see what He has in store for you, its going to be beautiful!

Though you have not seen him, you love him; 

and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him 

and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy.

 1 Peter 1:8

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truth

     I was reading Christine Cain's blog earlier. And after reading a post, a saying stuck with me. "we cant just do church, we got to be church" Wow, it gives me the chills to even say it myself! Why do I get the chills? Because it is the truth. And whenever God speaks the truth to me, I get chills. Because I don't like to veer away from the truth, especially God's.
     Growing up my parents stressed the importance of obeying. And so I did, well for the most part. But whenever I disobeyed, the inside of me would ache so deeply. Even in the times when I did not get caught, I was still hurting inside. When I did disobey, that hurt feeling stuck with me. Even today, thinking back to times I disobeyed someone, I still feel the hurt and disappointment in myself like it was yesterday.
     When God speaks the truth to me, if I go and disobey Him, that hurt I just described is a million times worse. He tells us the truth, why then should we turn to the world looking for the truth? Friends can lie, family can even lie, this world can be filled with lies, all just to try and meet the needs of people, trying to be nice, to keep that 'safe relationship.' Y'all, I am convicted of lying by trying to protect people from getting hurt. But now, I am asking myself, "Kathryn, when someone lies to you don't you just wish they would have told you the truth?" So if your at all like me- then if that is how we want people to speak to us, shouldn't we always speak the truth?
     Let me shout, God is truth! He is real, He is honest. He is the only one we can fully and completely rely on to tell us the truth. How do we know then what He is saying if we can't always hear Him inside us? Two words.. the Bible. Hmm... sounds like a Sunday School answer? Yes! Even when we were in first grade, we were told to open the Bible for truth. The answer is still the same for us 10, 20, 30, 80, 100 years later.
     I have had the truth sitting in front of me for 19 years. Nineteen years y'all, I had it right in front of me but did not once sit down to really read it! I am all about truth too. I would look for magazines to tell me what I thought I needed to hear, I looked to people to tell me the truth, I looked to possessions, I looked to google, I looked everywhere. And what I can tell you from that mistake... if you want to try and justify what you are doing and look to the world, then you can find that 'answer' you are looking for. But now the question is, is it the truth?
     For nineteen years, I would not bring myself to read the bible. I blamed it on being boring... but in reality, I just didn't want to face the truth. Not only has the Bible provided me with the truth, it has provided me with support, love, comfort, satisfaction, hope, faith, understanding, confidence... everything I need, the Bible meets my needs. It is through God and in His truth, which is the only truth worth hearing and living for. The nineteen years I did not read the bible, I still believed in Him and had a relationship with Him. But let me tell you... as soon as I started hearing His Word and truth, that relationship grew and it grows everyday.
     It has been just three months since I have started reading the Bible. And as soon as I started, I have not, and still not wanted to stop. In fact, yesterday I thought I had lost it and I began to freak out because it literally felt like my life had just gone missing. After I found it, I realized, oh wow... the Bible is apart of my life, without it I would be lost! And it was such a cool feeling. Y'all... that is so true though. Without the Word, we are lost.
     I still make mistakes, everyday I do and I am able to open the Bible to be filled with hope, faith, support, comfort, confidence, understanding and love from God even after my mistakes. I can come to Him and be so honest about my mistakes and still be filled with an everlasting love. I can't describe how amazing and comforting it is to have the Bible. It is the first thing I turn to when I am half awake in the mornings, He gives me the foundation to start my day.
     My prayer is that the world will stop putting a judgement on the bible like I did for so many years. That no one would think of it as out-dated, non relatable. Because it is just the opposite, it is SO relatable, it is SO real.
     Open it, spend time in His word. I began with Ephesians... start in any chapter you like! Just open it! He will not let you down!

1 Timothy 

3:16 All Scriptures is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness.

4:4 They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.

4:5 But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.

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living in the now

         How many times have you wished you could jump forward in time or go back in time? For me, that has been too many. I have talked in another post about this topic, but God is still teaching me. I am thrilled about this summer, I do not know yet what I will be doing, but I get to be home for several months. I am thrilled just to see my family on an everyday basis and to have that support with me as I start my days.
     Okay, lets jump back in time... say a year ago. I was dying to graduate from my high school, to live away from my parents, and to experience college life. I thought it would be exactly what I needed. Although college has been exactly what I needed, I did not need it at this time in my life last year. There is absolutely a reason God has you in the place you are at right now. There is no doubt about it. But the question to ask ourselves: Am I letting Him work through me right now or am I not wanting to deal with the now by wishing for another time to come?
     As I am able to look back, I remember this time last year: I believed I was supposed to already be in college. How wrong was I! Jesus still had work to do within me, He had plans for me at home, plans that I tried to jump ahead of. And by my wishful thinkings, I missed out on experiencing the word "enjoy." I would not let myself enjoy the now I was living in because I so desperately believed I should be somewhere else.
     Y'all... we are living in sin when we don't live in the now. When we are not letting ourselves enjoy the present moment Jesus has given to us as a gift. The bible tells us it is not wise to ask the question, 'why were the old days better than these?' (Ecclesiastes 7:10)

 When God gives any man wealth and possessions and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work- this is a gift of God. He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart. Ecclesiastes 5:19-20

     It is so easily for our human mind's to wish and dream. I have learned over the years, my wishes and dreams were becoming out of control, which is when I learned I must let God in on them. The devil was using those times of wishful dreams to make my ways seem greater than what God could do. My dreams made me start focusing on my plans rather than God's plans for me. And God has been teaching me to hand my dreams over to Him. He has been teaching me how to communicate with Him and to share them with Him. When I do that, He is able to provide me with peace and understanding of His dreams for me. It enables me to stand in awe of Him and the gifts He has right in front of me.

Much dreaming and many words are meaningless. Therefore stand in awe of God. 

Ecclesiastes 4:7

     My roommate and I were talking today about how excited we are for summer and a long break. But I kept catching myself, because I don't want to wish away these last six weeks. I am here, living during this time of my life for a reason. And my prayer for the rest of these six weeks is that I will fully live out His desires for my first year here. But, as we were talking about summer, He showed me I can still look forward to future times and get excited for what He has planned. I just don't have to wish away the now I am at.

     I encourage you to live in the now. To accept where you are in life as a gift from God and be thankful for this time. It might be a hard time, sad time, happy time, busy time... whatever type of time you are living in, know it is Christ your Lord and Savior working within you. His love will never run out on you! Be patient in Him and let His works be made beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 4).

Consider what God has done:

Who can straighten what he has made crooked?

When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider:

God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, a man cannot discover anything about his future.

Ecclesiastes 7:14 

Be joyful always, pray continuously, give thanks in all circumstances, 

for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. 

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

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overcoming stress

     How many times do we let the world and society bring unwanted stress upon us? Many times I feel as if the world is pulling me down, purposefully making me seem stress. We must stop letting the world win that battle. Satan knows when we become stress he can enter our lives, letting that weakness overcome us.
     Each day we wake up, stress can be knocking at our door. And we can make the choice to open it or not. We let it in so easily when we wake up forgetting about God and going straight into our activities. To acknowledge God, it can be a simple, "Good morning! God please guide me through this day." I am a strong believer in acknowledging God's Presence because it opens our hearts up for Him to come into our day and guide us.  I completely understand when the mornings get so hectic and we don't have time to sit down for an hour of quite time. But from experiences in the past, there is such a difference in my busy days when I acknowledge Him and when I forget to. When I acknowledge Him and ask for His guidance throughout the day, it brings peace among me in each activity. How many days have you woken up thinking it will be impossible to complete what has to be done? Are those the days you don't want to get out of bed because you don't want to face the world? Well, those days can be over!
     A recent week in my life: This past week of school was one of the most stressful weeks I have had this semester. I had mandatory events in my extracurricular activities- sorority, work, and younglife- along with three big tests. On Sunday, it would have been so easy to go ahead and give up on the week, looking at it as impossible. However, I knew God was going to get me through it, just like He has gotten me through everything else in life. I took everything as it came, when it came. Each morning I woke up, before even thinking what had to be done, I asked God to get me through the day. There were a couple mornings I had the time to spend a good few hours with Him and then there were a few days I did not. Even on the days I did not, I acknowledged Him and kept in constant communication with Him. He brought peace throughout each day and each event.
     I also want you to know, the past two months of my life, I have been acknowledging Him everyday. And I rejoice! It is such a blessing! Throughout my life, I have always known Him everyday, but what I did not do- was acknowledge Him everyday. And those days were way more than they should be. It is a such a gift that I have Jesus to help me through each day. There is a gift waiting for you each morning you wake up. Are you going to open the gift? Are you going to let yourself acknowledge God to get you through the day? Please do! And when you do, look forward to each day because He will never fail you.
     Starting in the middle of high school when my parents gave me the devotional, Jesus Calling, I began to make it a habit to read that one paragraph each morning before rushing out the door. Even on the mornings I was running late, I paused to make myself 45 seconds later. Each day it helped me become aware of God's presence. Continuing that habit for two years ended up effecting my life. Not only did He teach me something each day, God showed me the importance of needing to spend time with Him and acknowledging Him before going on into the day. Because when I don't acknowledge His presence, I begin to live in the world. And the world's way is a sinful place that can tear me into pieces. The world makes things in life look impossible, but God makes them possible.
     So, I ask you, where are you today? Have you been living in stress? Are you knowing God is there or are you acknowledging Him? I believe there is a huge difference between knowing and acknowledging. Acknowledging lets God come in and work through things.
     My prayer is for us to acknowledge God before we start the day and to stay in continuous communication with Him throughout the day. It is through acknowledging God everyday and staying in communication with Him everyday when we overcome stress. It is not just a one time choice, it is an everyday choice we get to make! Help yourself out today... open the gift God has given you, let Him help you today!

O Lord, be gracious to us; we long for you. Be our strength every morning, our salvation in time of distress.
Isaiah 33:2


lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 

"With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

Matthew 19:26

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the love aroma

Dear friends, no one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 

1 John 4:12

    Why is it on mission trips we instantly and constantly start loving on people we do not know, but then, when we get back to our daily routines we don't show love to the people who pass by in our daily routines? Don't they need to see Jesus' love too? Its like we give an excuse that because this is our daily routine, we don't have time to treat every single person with love and respect. I'm not saying we are constantly telling ourselves that, but its like we live by that motto. And for me to say that brings the realization I am disobeying God. Because I am giving God an excuse for the command He has told: whoever loves God must also love his brother (1 John 4:21). What good does it do if I don't share Jesus' love? So what, if I have had a rough day or just a busy day, that is not an excuse for me not to show Jesus' love. We are living in a world that is drowned down by the Devil. And we who love Jesus, can overcome this world. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God (1 John 5:5). 

     As I have been spending the last two weeks studying for all of my exams, I sat my screensaver to pictures from my last mission trip in Belize from a year ago. Probably not the smartest idea when I should be studying, because every time they came up, I would spend quite the time watching them and reflecting on the memories. But thats okay, because even through my two weeks of dreadful studying, Jesus was still able to encourage and teach me. Something I noticed in each of the pictures, the smiles. Not just my smiles but the kids, the adults, the teams - every single person shined a smile that screamed Jesus. And as I looked at those pictures, a smile came onto my face. Then I began to think, people around me in the library are probably wondering why I am smiling so big, while everyone is in a miserable mood studying, here I am smiling. Thats it! Thats when it hit me, all I have to do is smile and show love in all that I do. Because even when people are in their worse mood, say for being in the library for the 6th hour straight, if they see a smile, its going to stand out to them. 

     I keep hearing this is the time, this is the time for our generation to rise and lift up Jesus and to overcome this world. And in order for it to happen, it needs to start now. Starting now with you and I. By loving each and every person. Not just when we aren't busy, but in every life situation. Not just to the people we like, but to everyone. And if we need to love when we are not in the best mood or to someone we don't particularly enjoy or when life is busy... before we do go out and love, lets come to Jesus in prayer. Ask Him for the guidance, strength, and courage to overcome the world for His namesake. Ask Him to take control what is holding you back from loving.

     For me, I have been praying about what it is I am called to do. Over the few months this thought has been occurring in my head and every time it does I just keep praying about it. "How when I am told to 'do something now' supposed to do something? I am a broke, college student who is just now beginning her studies." I did not want the excuse of me being a broke, college student to keep me from going and doing. Well, as I have been reading in the New Testament, Jesus has been laying on my heart the importance of loving on others, building each other up, encouraging each other. 

     So if your wondering where to start with 'doing something now,' start with loving. Jesus is love. The bible tells us that through our actions and truth, love is portrayed. And therefore, Jesus is being portrayed. The world needs more love, the world needs Jesus. When you go into a coffee shop, you leave there with that coffee smell. And as you encounter different people, they smell that coffee. Well love works the exact same way! Start the love aroma around you and your friends. 

     My prayer is that this generation wont give up and feel defeated because of our age. That we would start now. Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe (1 Timothy 4:12).  Even though we might be broke, college students... we can make a change. We can make a difference in this world, through showing our love. It does not have to be in a foreign country. It is right here. Right now to your college friends. In your college town. Where are you today? What are you doing today? Wherever you are, whatever you are doing... you can start doing something now. You can love. Because Jesus is love.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. 

1 Peter 3:6

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:10

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