an inexpressible joy

inexpressible: to great to be expressed or uttered; indescribable

     So.. let me start with how this word came up in my vocabulary. I am not one to use a wide variety of word choices so the fact that this has stuck with me makes me so excited! And not only has it stuck with me as a word, but as a feeling of joy too. I was reading in the New Testament a few weeks back and in 1 Peter it describes a joy for God as inexpressible. I sat there for a while, thinking about that kind of joy and curious on what that feeling must be like. I continued on with my day and my week. The word inexpressible joy stuck with me though. I would say it a few times because I loved that word... inexpressible.

     Well... three days ago that joy fully came alive within me! It is still alive and burning inside me and my prayer is that it will never go away. I have not really done much the past three days, I have just been continuing on with my daily routines. But there has been something different about my daily routines... I cannot stop smiling. I am smiling at the joy for God that is in my heart. I do not know what He is doing, but He is doing something. Although my life seems pretty still, I cannot stop smiling, because I know God is at work. And that brings me joy!

     Back in January, I made the decision for God to take control of my life, fully. Not just when I wanted Him to, but as an everyday choice no matter what kind of day I would have. There was no turning back to my old ways, my plans... it was all His. And to let Him take full control, there had to be some adjusting in my life. I am going to be completely honest with you.. there were definitely some very difficult days but those days I relied on Him the most, and He got me through them. I have struggled throughout the time though with wanting to understand what He was doing, I just wanted to have a glimpse so I could get through each day. But He kept telling me no, you need faith in Me and in Me alone. He taught me I cannot just say it, I had to fully live in faith each and every day. He constantly reminded me 

I will make everything beautiful in its time. 

Ecclesiastes 3:11

As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mothers womb, so you cannot understand the work of God, the maker of all things. 

Ecclesiastes 11:5

     By relying on Him and His word alone, my faith has grown stronger everyday. I shout that! Because I am so blessed and so thankful! It has taken time for me to fully live by faith and He has been patient with me every single day. And by living in full faith of His timing and in His works, He has given me a joy that cannot be fully expressed. It is a joy that is inexpressible. It is a joy that has placed a huge smile on my face everyday, because He has plans for me that are far beyond my imaginations and my dreams. 

     I share this with you all because it is truly the greatest feeling. I no longer am fighting to understand His works. When we try to figure out His works, we are wasting our time and our energy. His works are His gift to us that we cannot understand. But we get to take it as a gift and be thankful and live in faith. It is a beautiful thing. When we stop trying to understand, we get to live in faith. And living in faith brings about an inexpressible joy. 

     Although I cant explain this joy to you that God has given me, my prayer is that you will let God bring you to your inexpressible joy for Him. Ask Him for it, let Him come in, let Him fully take over. Embrace the hardships it takes to fully live in Him because He is teaching you and growing you in so many ways. He will not fail you. Rely on Him and His word alone and see what He has in store for you, its going to be beautiful!

Though you have not seen him, you love him; 

and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him 

and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy.

 1 Peter 1:8